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The time difference was difficult, the flights long and expensive and the pressure for him to meet me in this new life all-consuming. Months passed with me trying to keep one relationship alive while fearing another was chasing me down.


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And then, just weeks before that predicted three-year finish line, my friend who was still in touch with my ex decided to visit us both in Los Angeles. Just like that, a door opened. For the first time since our breakup, my ex and I were linked in time and space and it had me reeling. Had the cards been right? Had the entirety of my two-and-a-half-year relationship with Brandon just been a mirage?

Ex-Girlfriend November.12.1994 U For me

Had it always been meant to dissipate at the moment this three-year waiting period expired? Or had I made my destiny true by believing in it? And what was I supposed to do now? Wait patiently for the cards to push me into some predetermined new old life? Let one relationship fail so I could open my arms to another that I had grown to resent for haunting the corners of my mind for three whole years?

I live in LA now and I know you know that. Whaddya think? After three years of wondering, I had to wait only a few hours for his response. I do sincerely hope everything in your world is awesome though! And that was that.

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No destiny. No lightning strike.


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No certainty written in the cards. Months later I would run into him in a park, where he was sitting on a bench with some woman. He would just sit there uncomfortably and ask if I liked Los Angeles, and I would walk away laughing at the absurdity of it all. I had loved Brandon, not because some tarot card reader had told me to but because of something true and deep between us. Yet within a few months, we, too, had broken up.

We were different people living in different places who had drifted apart.

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I chose to believe in the possibility that there was some perfectly pre-written story that I was only playing a role in, but there was no pre-written story for Brandon and me. That we are willing to live together inside of a story being written rather than a story already told? And that trying to see the future before it happens is just an attempt to make the terrible uncertainty about being in love, and staying in love, a little easier to bear. Stefanie Abel Horowitz is a filmmaker living in Los Angeles.

Modern Love can be reached at modernlove nytimes.

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To read past Modern Love columns, click here. Just Be Patient. I went to see a tarot card reader. The first two predictions came true quickly. My tarot reader was two for two and not even a year had passed.

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I soon forgot he was not the one I was destined for. I finally wrote an email to my ex. We lived with housemates — and later on, oddly enough, our landlord too. We had our own rooms, but of course spent more time in one or the other. Once, me and my ex put our differences aside and went out for a curry to celebrate. We did.

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But in reality, I just really wanted an excuse to try my hand at baking a rainbow cake. You will inevitably end up falling in bed together again and again, and will often resort to underhanded methods to catch the other one out. The sex part, that is.

Not the making up and having babies part. Who knew?